You Can Call Me the Chef (can I at least wear the hat?)

When I was a kid, I thought when someone became a Mom they automatically loved to cook. Stay-at-home-Moms lived for looking through their cookbooks, going to the grocery store, coming home and making a spectacular meal to serve her family. I used to think that someday, I’d be that Mom.

 

I am not that Mom.

 

I am the Mom that cooks out of necessity. I am the Mom that, when I’m REALLY craving something, I will make it the old-fashioned way but then I find out that Costco makes it just as well (and then I can spend the 3 hours that I thought I’d be cooking in front of the TV watching Mindy Project). I am the Mom that (GASP) gives my kids vegetables out of cans (and sometimes fruit too)! Who has time to let vegetables cook twice a day??!! I want to find the Mom that does and ask her for her daily schedule. Hey, let’s chat and meet up sometime (insert awkward pause).

 

Does her 17-month old know how to open the “child-proof” gate and go down all the stairs in her split-level home? Does her 17-month old give half of her food to the greedy dog circling below (and laugh hysterically when I tell her not to— literally laughing in my face)? Does her 17-month old throw food against the wall and the dry clean only curtain?

 

Does her 17-month old refuse to say “Please” no matter how many times I stay strong and don’t give in without her asking nicely?

 

Me: “Fiona, can you say please?”

Fiona: “More!”

Me: “Fiona…. that’s not please. Can you say please?”

Fiona: “Nah”

Me: “Fiona, if you can say, ‘Nah,’ I’m pretty sure you can say please.”

Fiona: “Haha. Nah” (shakes head)

 

And so it continues. 

 

I made ground beef with Worcestershire sauce, melted cheese, etc. (basically, a my-version-of-gourmet-hamburger) and she literally threw it against the wall and said, “ICK!” Then when I made (and by “made” I mean heated up) the Elmo frozen pancakes (OK people… at least they’re organic) she said, “Mmmmmmmm….. more!” What is the point of cooking? Okay… is it really that much healthier? Alright, maybe. I’ll keep trying.

 

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This is Fiona eating grilled cheese, pineapple with carrots & broccoli. Notice she hasn’t touched it yet. She’s laughing at Mr. Noodle on Sesame Street (and I think she’s laughing at me for thinking it’s a good idea to load up her plate with so much food… she’s planning her next move: do I throw this against the wall, give it to the dog, or simply refuse to eat it?)

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Maternity Style, 20 Weeks- Part 2

Maternity Style, 20 Weeks- Part 2

Here’s my second 20 week maternity-style photo! Here I’m wearing a Press Ruffle Tank (I love the ruffles, they hide my growing belly since I’m not at the point where it’s obvious I’m pregnant! This will also work great for the women like me who carry their weight in their stomachs when not pregnant!), a Fashionista Floral Bomber Jacket (I am LOVING the bomber jacket trend!), and the AG Maternity Legging. I’ve paired it with Dr. Scholl’s black wedges (the comfiest wedges I’ve ever worn)!

I’ve worn this outfit before with my black Chanel sneakers as well… the wedges dress it up, the sneakers dress it down 🙂

Maternity Style: 20 weeks- Part 1

Maternity Style: 20 weeks- Part 1

I’m at the point where I’m not obviously pregnant yet… I just look like I’ve eaten too much 🙂 I’m probably going to be at the “cover the belly” stage for another week or two… then I’ll show it and embrace it!

Here, I’ve worn a floral tank by Allison Joy (and I layered an orange tank under it), with a Sanctuary Cammo jacket (both from Hot Mama), maternity AG Legging Jeans with Tod’s oxfords (these are my FAVORITE SHOES right now! I’m obsessed!). This is my “mom-on-the-go” style 🙂

I love wearing orange and camo together— camo and olive can really be seen as a neutral now which is really exciting. Pretend like it’s brown when pairing it with other colors and prints!

Target Adventure

Everytime we go to Target, I am aware that I have about 30 minutes before Fiona becomes a tyrant. If I continue to move and give her things to play with (and eat), she is the sweetest toddler alive. She even says “Hi!” to people (although it’s usually after we’ve made it around the next curve and so they can no longer see her).

The last time we went… I should have known better. There were multiple red flags.

I started in the baby section and she starts saying, “Pa-Pa” when we go near the training potties (she has one at home that we’ve attempted… she isn’t ready so we aren’t pushing it. She likes to go on it because it has a stupid button that makes a “swoosh/ding” sound when you hit it). When I said, “Yep, that’s a potty” she threw a Cheez-It (the super healthy, preservative-free snack) at my face. I should have known then.

When we got to the diaper section, she started pointing to her butt and saying, “THIS! THIS!” which usually means she’s gone poop but she just wanted to inform me that yes, the item in my hand was the same that was wrapped around her butt. When I grabbed wipes she reached for them and missed and threw a total tantrum. Being the so-so mom that I am I gave them to her and she said, “Thank you!” And then she threw the wipes on the floor and started screaming. I should have known THEN!

When we got to the grocery section, we ran into someone I grew up with. Ohhhhh no. They want to stop and talk. They also don’t have children so, despite Fiona throwing things and starting to cry, they kept trying to console her. In the middle of Target. Right before nap time. When Mommy should have known better.

I made a rookie mistake. I took Fiona out of the cart and said, “Okay, but only if you promise to be good.” REALLY?!?! She immediately took off and went for the waist-height cheeses. She grabbed all the cheese she could and threw them on the floor and started laughing hysterically. I began to pick them up and when I tried to put them back she threw herself to the floor and screamed, “MAMA! MAMA! NNNOOOOOOOOOOO MAMA!” and bawled her eyes out.

At this point, a normal mother would get really embarrassed, get her purse (and hopefully her toddler) and walk out.

What did I do? I started laughing. I didn’t know what else to do and frankly, it was hilarious. There I am in the dairy section and my toddler is throwing cheese all over the floor and throwing a complete tantrum. I realized mid-tantrum that if it was someone else’s kid, I wouldn’t think, “What a terrible mother.” I’d think, “Oh my god that poor mother. Now, pass the popcorn- let’s enjoy the show.”

Because that’s what it is. Fiona was putting on a show for everyone at Target to see what she could get me to do. Rather, what she could get me to let HER do. While I can’t say that I enjoyed the show, and while I can’t say that I wasn’t a little embarrassed, I at least recognized a couple of things:

1) Her tantrum doesn’t reflect my skills as a mom
2) Her tantrum doesn’t mean that everyone is looking at me thinking I’m a bad mother (and if they do, then screw them!)
3) Her tantrum meant that I need to PAY ATTENTION TO THE SIGNS SHE GIVES ME!!!!!!!! If she is rubbing her eyes, don’t leave to go to Target if it’s within an hour of her nap time. She fell asleep in the car on the way home (which is a 5 minute drive) and then was wide awake when I took her out of it. That day, she basically skipped her nap… it was super fun.

Below is Fiona.. wide awake after an unsuccessful attempt at a nap (and an unsuccessful trip to Target).

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Fiona’s New Vest

Fiona's New Vest

Fiona is obsessed with her new vest. She runs around the house (at full speed) yelling, “JACKET! JACKET! JACKET!” (although to someone who isn’t her mom, it’s probably sound like “YAKA!”). She won’t let me take it off. Ever. Even when I get her ready for bed… she ends up walking around in just a diaper and her vest. It’s super classy.

She’s also wearing my hat here. Too cute.